The Redneck Shih-tzu

           
     Life itself is not normal.  So why do we expect those trapped in-between the here and there to be any more normal than we are.  Even my chickens are batty- some of them.  That Amelia chick I mentioned months ago, I had to extract about two feet of cord from her crop one day.  She must have seen one giant white worm dangling from the coop rafters and decided she would be nourished for the next few days on that baby.  Boy was she ever.  It took me about a cup of oil and a lot of massaging and tugging to reverse that bit of rope from her gullet.  Amelia I called her.  Like Amelia Bedeilia.  It was a perfect fit.  And now that her egg hatched, I got one crazy little cock who stares around with that same not-normal psycho expression.   

               But in the There, or the limbo things are even less normal.  There's this mom and pop flower shop in Defiance, Ohio.  It's haunted my friend tells me; but not by any ordinary specter.  Margaret they call her.  Margaret the butt-pinching ghost.  She may have tweaked the seats of a few random customers but so far, my friend has not been molested.  When Margaret is keeping her hands to herself, she is busy tampering with the Florist's computers, opening up programs and resetting them.  

               And I can't fail to mention my normal neighbors.  They live in Section Eight housing.  They don't have much.  There's really nothing wrong with them, considering that life itself is abnormal.  But they bought this little Shih-tzu for a pretty penny a couple weeks ago.  Oh, the pooch came from a classy litter no doubt.   But it wasn't living a week in Section Eight before it became a real Dog.  The Ghetto Shee-tzoo.  They call him Gizmo.  Gizmo the full-blooded Shi-tzoo.  Gizmo sleeps outside on the land-fill driveway.  He used to be white.  But he's kind of black now.  On Gizmo's first walk, his owner, stood in the street in lounge-wear, holding a loud phone conversation while juggling a cigarette from leash hand to phone hand.  

                But who's talking.  My life has been no more normal than any of this.  It's all in how you perceive it.  Take this Chicken-nugget for example.  What do you see?

                   So this "Normal" girl is about to publish her first book.  It's years later than it should be.  -Like, I should have been published ten years ago.

             This particular story itself, was probably too awesome for me to tell.  I feel so inadequate.  But I've done my very best, and slaved away over it for over two years.... and now... it is ready... for Amazon Kindle!!  Just so you know, nothing about the book is normal.